


All at once (you're the one)

by AshAndSnow



Series: Start With This [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fuckbuddies to boyfriends basically, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Unspecified Setting, can be read as a standalone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 07:24:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18278546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshAndSnow/pseuds/AshAndSnow
Summary: In which Tony won't watch Loki leave anymore(And perhaps he doesn't have to)(Prompt: Work on something for an hour, then post it)





	All at once (you're the one)

**Author's Note:**

> The first in a series of unrelated works, prompted by the podcast "Start with This"

It always starts the same.

With their eyes meeting across whatever room they’re in. With a kiss that could scorch the Earth beneath them once they’re finally alone. With clothes that go flying as they come together like a hurricane.

It always happens the same.

With bitten off groans. With passion stealing all caution until nails are dragging a bit too hard and leaving welts that will have them both shuddering. With a frantic urge to drive each other over the edge.

And it always ends the same.

With one of them stretching as they get off the bed. With one of them fumbling for their clothes. With one of them closing the door behind them as they leave.

It’s an established pattern, and it has been so for about a year at this point. Tony knows this. It was never meant to be anything more. And for a long time, Tony was okay with that.

Until he wasn’t anymore.

He knows he can’t be the only one to feel this way. The way Loki has taken to prolonging the prelude to the main event alone speaks volumes, as does the way he lingers when he’s the one who’s wound up in Tony’s bed – and the way he will wordlessly coax Tony into staying five more minutes once Tony is the one who ends up in his.

Loki, Tony knows (and he almost curses that he knows him so well by now, except how could he, when it makes him feel so breathless joyful scared excited), is not one to engage in any activity or act of socialization unless he genuinely wants to.

 

So Loki surely must want it too.

Tony watches Loki as he catches his breath, engages in a bit of brief conversation with him, and generally looks for excuses not to get up. He watches the long black curls, spread decadently over the pillow. The way green eyes catch the light and betray absolutely nothing and positively everything. He admires every single curve and bend of his lover’s body, and he wishes he wouldn’t ever have to let go.

But he also sees fear, lingering in the lines that make up Loki’s being. He sees it because he knows Loki; but he also sees it because he knows himself. It’s the reason this is all they are. It’s the almost phobic way they both view rejection, the terror that the other won’t live up to expectation (or worse yet, that they themselves won’t), that the other will leave and this will break and everything good and bad and wonderful between them will be lost.

Like this, the potential is still there. Nothing is gained, but nothing is lost.

But Tony is starting to remember that he never did well with doing things halfway. And it hits him full force when Loki finally runs out of excuses to remain where he is while holding onto his defense of this-doesn’t-mean-anything.

“Stay.”

The word leaves him before Tony is fully done thinking about whether he should permit it to do so. Maybe that’s for the best. Maybe it would never have happened if he’d had that extra time to consider it. Sometimes you have to run before you can walk. And sometimes you have to speak before you can think.

It startles them both. But Tony’s face quickly shifts away from surprise at his own actions and he instead tries to convey that he stands by what he said.

On the edge of the bed, Loki is sitting completely still. Just looking at him, face closed off and his eyes broadcasting every single thought he is simultaneously having on the matter, flitting from one to the other, yes or no, is it worth the risk, how badly will this hurt when it goes south, could it perhaps be it might never go south at all?

After a few seconds and a couple of lifetimes, Loki lets out a breath and lets go of a weight.

“Okay.”

It always starts the same. But from now on, Tony thinks, as they both let go of their defenses and slide under the covers, into each other’s arms, it certainly won’t end the same.

If Tony has anything to say on the matter, he hopes it won’t ever end at all.


End file.
